Sensuality & Sexuality

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Stress may lead to feelings of heightened or deadened senses.  You may be more acutely aware of your 5 senses: sight, sound, taste, smell and touch.  Or you may feel numb to them.

Recovering a sense of sensuality is about recovering a sense of balance and harmony in the way that we interact with the world. When our life is in balance, we appreciate our surroundings.

Recovering a sense of sensuality brings us back in touch with our self and the world.  To be sensitive is to be alive.

You can recover your sensuality by doing things consciously, by shutting out all other distractions and focusing in on one sensory experience.

Below are some suggestions for exercises that you could try.

  •     Sound

Make a cuppa, put your feet up and listen to your favourite piece of music.

  •     Touch

Feel the texture of tree bark, a silk scarf, a rose petal.  Close your eyes.  How do they feel now?

  •     Taste

Make a conscious decision to chew your food at least twenty times before swallowing.  Taste every bit of it.  Don’t watch TV, don’t talk to someone else.  Just taste . . . every single mouthful.

  •     Smell

Buy three small scented candles or buy some scented oils and a burner. Place this in a quiet room or around the house. Sit and take in the scent.  Choose ones that create different responses.  Compare them.  Which ones are your favourite?  Why?  How do each of them make you feel?

  •     Sight

Go for a walk for no other reason than to observe.  How many shades of colour make up the sky or the landscape?  What colour are the houses? What are people wearing? How do they look?

Choose to gently nourish your senses every day.


Caring isn’t sexy. It’s messy, not sexy.

Caring can make us feel asexual.  We often lose touch with our sexual energy, with our sense of masculinity, femininity. In times of stress, sex goes out the window.  We give up on it.  Or we learn that it is not possible at that time and we learn to bury or repress our desire.

Study your body in a full-length mirror. Compliment yourself. Have you had the same hairstyle for years?  Do you always wear the same dull colours? How about something brighter? Try different colours against your skin tone and see what happens.  Some colours drain us, others make us look 10 years younger.  What about make-up? Admire yourself from all angles, looking not for faults but how you may take care of yourself in a way that will add to your feeling of attractiveness. 

Remember you’re doing this for you, not anybody else!

Sexuality in later life:
Relationships Australia:
Excerpts taken from the book “Past Caring. The Beginning Not The End” by Audrey Jenkinson, 2004